I hurt. Have you ever had a day that everything just felt off and what was going on around you was all wrong. I feel that way today. I think I know what it is. I am feeling the consequences of some of my bad decisions. Some might call that Karma. I just call it life.
I have spent some time considering those around me lately. Dangerous, right? I look at the lives of those around me and feel like I should have done things differently. I should have done things better. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I spoke with a friend this evening who is struggling in very similar ways that I have struggled. As she spoke my heart broke for her. I knew every embarrassment and have cried many similar tears. I kept thinking how frustrating life's struggles truly are. I wanted to call someone and cry on their shoulder, but instead I decided to write. I have lamented long enough. I am now going to find the good.
A very wise man said these words that remind me that crying over the past doesn't help.
"Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is
help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and
some don’t come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of
Jesus Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and
believe in good things to come."
—Jeffrey R. Holland
Have you ever been really excited about a new outfit? You know the one that you have been eying in the store window and finally muster up the courage to get. You go to the store to find they only have one left - the one on the mannequin, so you buy it and take it home to realize you bought the wrong size. Despair sinks in. Your heart breaks. How can this be? Okay so who does this really happen to? But today I went and found my prized clothing and took it home to find it doesn't fit, and I purchased the largest size they make. Despair sinks in. I have done this to myself. Maybe I should quit? Maybe I am done. This is too heartbreaking. Too hard. This hurts. So how do I overcome this pain? I look within for the answer. I listen to that voice that tells me not to quit. To keep walking. To remember there is help and happiness ahead. What I desire is the ability to become more than the girl who can't fit into the clothes she wants. But more importantly, the woman who can become what she is intended to be.
"Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that
you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live
so as to reach your possibilities."
—Thomas S. Monson
Today I have been reminded of the possibilities I want to reach. Of the woman I can be. The time is now. No more excuses. There will always be a reason to wait until tomorrow to start living. What I have forgotten is all the reasons to start living today.
Life is good. Even in the darkest of nights, the sun does rise and remind us that we too can start anew. It is not too late.
