Fallen

Weigh in day arrived and past.  I survived.  I was apprehensive to stand on that scale and reveal whether or not my adjustment was working.  I lost 3.8 pounds.  I feel accomplished.  You know losing weight is a lot more fun when you get a high five or a pat on the back.  I even got a BRAVO star.  Amazingly at 28 years of age stickers still mean something.  There was this lady at my meeting that started last week as well.  She said in the past she hasn't liked coming to WW because she isn't that big, and she thinks that others judge her.  They judge her for trying to lose weight.  When I looked at her I saw a really cute girl, and I wouldn't mind being her size.  But I can understand her wanting to gain control of her life style.  It doesn't matter if you are trying to lose 5 or 500 pounds.  Improving your lifestyle is a good idea.  I actually realized that worrying about what others think can occur whether you are a bigger person or not.  I realized it really is all about perspective.  I think it's great she wants to lose some weight.  I think it is great that she and I can learn from each other as we both work toward a common goal - being the best me possible.

Yesterday I fell at work.  I mean full on face plant.  It was that mortifying moment that I fear every day.  The big embarrassment.  The slow motion fall and then the crash with my fat bouncing all around me.  I almost let myself feel bad.  Then I started laughing, got up, and moved on.  I know that losing 20 pounds does not make a person able to bounce back from this kind of fall, but the boost in self confidence does.  I may not look ridiculously beautiful and wear high heels like a super model, but I am making positive changes, and I can hold my head up high.  I did obtain a small scratch on my foot, and my back has felt better, but I picked myself up off the ground and didn't give up or run and hide.  I am making small steps that are making me better in more ways than one.

Over the weekend Beau and I decided we wanted to have an Anniversary Dinner.  We did celebrate a little at the end of our trip to Utah, but we wanted to go out to a nice meal.  We chose Claim Jumpers.  Land of large portions, and six-layer cake chocolate motherload cake.  This seemed like a scary prospect as I was pretty hungry by the time we got seated, and I have eaten there before.  I knew what I could get myself into.  I looked at Beau and told him that I needed a minute to figure out what I wanted.  Our server came over, and I asked her what would be on the lighter side on the menu.  She showed me that the Nutrition Facts were right on the table.  I was elated.  I immediately started scanning the calories until I started seeing numbers that were not terrifying.  I found a wonderful Alaskan Salmon with roasted vegetables and rice pilaf!!  Success!  They even had Diet Sprite so I indulged in a soda.  I started with a salad, which really helped me keep my hunger in check, so that by the time my plate arrived I was ready to slowly enjoy every single bite. The picture below shows the meal with mashed potatoes, which I did not have, but I thought I would make you jealous of it none the less :)



As dinner completed I realized I had left over WW Points, so I indulges in a piece of Warm English Toffee cake.  I loved every bite and felt completely in control.  No feelings of guilt.  I had made smart decisions and had enjoyed a lovely meal with my favorite person.  He was so patient with me, and allowed me to take the time I needed to make a good choice.

On Sunday I decided to try cooking something new so I set out to make some steak and cheese sandwiches with mushrooms and onions with baked potato soup.  Beau enjoyed his steak and cheese (no mushrooms or onions for him) and he thought the soup was okay.  After he had eaten all of his soup I told him he had just eaten a whole serving of vegetables.  He asked me what I was talking about, and I told him that his soup had cauliflower in it.  He was a little surprised.  I was victorious.  Beau has always said that if you fix vegetables you should hide them.  Mission Accomplished.