Rant!

You know it is always funny to me to see the media try to tell us how to live, and what is and is not acceptable.  I read a blog yesterday that ridiculed woman who were married and had children as they are giving up on their potential to leave a legacy.  It is crap.  What it means to be a feminist, and what it means to not be a feminist.  I like to consider my thoughts progressive.  I do not like the idea that there is only one way to be.  So I am going to go on a rant.  These opinions may not be popular, but they are mine.  I do not ask you to agree, simply to respect my opinions as I will respect yours.  You can stop reading here if you want.  I won't be offended.

Growing up I was surrounded by influences that taught me that the only way a woman could fulfill her life's purpose was to get married and become a mother.  While I admit that I have accomplished the first part of this, I desire to fulfill the second.  I want to be a mom.  But I am much more than that.  I saw so many shining examples of accomplished woman who fulfilled the medias expectation of "doing something with their life" while being a mom.  I believe that being a stay at home mom is not a waste just as working outside of the home is not a waste.  I think many people consider those who chose to stay at home and raise their children as throwing away the towel and not living up to their potential.  This is just not the case.  Can you honestly tell me that a mother raising her children to enter society and be upstanding contributing citizens is a waste?  Now this may mean that woman is not discovering the cure for cancer, but I would argue that there is only a small percentage of people in this world capable of such a feat.  What if that woman is raising a child that will find a cure to major disease or illness?  What if she is raising a child who will grow up to be the president of the United States, or another influential politician.  What if she isn't.  What if her kids will grow to be no more than an average citizen.  I think we discredit how important each member of our community is.  We all play a part in contributing to those around us.  Why do we belittle and demean the significance of each person?

What about the women that work and have families?  I don't believe there is a cookie cutter one size fits all way of living.  Some families have stay at home dads.  Some mothers are single parents doing everything they can to provide for their children.  Maybe that means that her children have to go to daycare.  So what? I have seen many wonderful mothers who work outside of the home.  They raise good children who become good people.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that I admire those women.  Not only do they have the responsibilities of child rearing (whether they share this responsibility with their spouse or not) and they also go to work to help provide.  I don't think whether this is an optional choice or necessity changes whether or not a woman is a good mother.

I haven't mentioned all of the circumstances that women find themselves in.  There are so many.  My main point it that I think I am a feminist.  In my own right.  I believe that a woman can be a mother, wife, employee, employer, and any combination in between and still be living up to her potential.  I don't think it is anyone else's business why someone has "chosen" to live one way or another.  It isn't "our" business.  A woman should be able to chose what works best for her and her family.

I was once standing in a room of several woman looking at our current situations.  I mentioned that I feel judged because I had been married for several years and do not have children.  Another said she felt judged because she had her children too close together, and another felt judged that she had too much space between her children.  One had too many children, and one not enough.  One is judged for working, and reversely another judged for not working.  I hope you get my drift.

When I think of feminism and women's rights I think that these are important because we should have every opportunity in life that will help us be successful.  I am not talking about hand outs.  We should work hard for what we need.  A man and a woman should have that equal opportunity.  That being said I also think we should realize the there are anatomical and physiological differences between men and women which make our abilities different.  Instead of complaining about these "limitations" I think we should embrace them.  I love that my body is different than a mans.  These differences are what allows my body the opportunity to create life.  These differences also prevent me from growing a beard and a mustache.  Thank heavens!  Not to mention chest hair!  I think that we should celebrate our differences and embrace our common abilities.  Women are not held back from working, voting, owning property, etc.  There are still areas where woman will hopefully gain equality.  It takes time.  We will get there.  But denying our anatomy and screaming feminism is not going to change anything.

End Rant.