Let's talk about food.

Since I found out I was pregnant the goal to lose weight was put on hold.  The doctor told me to focus on maintaining weight, and trying to gain no more than 9 pounds this pregnancy.  I am going to come right out and say I have already gained the 9 pounds.  Not because I am a glutton for punishment, but because I lost focus.  For very understandable reasons (we live in a very law suit happy world) Weight Watchers does not allow pregnant women to continue with their program.  So I lost access to my support system for healthy eating.  On a side note, I really miss them.  I needed to figure out a way to eat healthy and balanced without my online tools and weekly weigh ins.  So, I figured I am a smart person, I will just wing it.  So we moved and my kitchen was not unpacked, and then when it was there was this issue with mice and ants that made the desire to cook rather small.  Eating out was easier than disinfecting my kitchen before and after every meal.  Time for a course correction.

Today I meat with a registered dietitian.  We spoke about healthy eating, and she didn't teach me anything I didn't already know.  She gave me guidelines to eat by that will help control weight gain during pregnancy.  As I walked away from the appointment I found myself getting mad.  I was mad that I had to do things her way.  I was mad that I don't have all the resources I had on Weight Watchers.  I was mad that this diet is more restrictive than what I was doing before I got pregnant and lost over 65 pounds.  I am still a little bitter.  What can I say.  I am human.

Now to turn things around.  I am so grateful that I have this little miracle inside of me.  With each day I am one day closer to meeting my little one and holding him or her in my arms.  So I have to change the way I eat and approach food.  This is not a horrible thing.  I am grateful that I have others looking out for me so that when this is all said and done I will  be able to work on my healthy lifestyle changes having gained the least amount of weight possible.  I am grateful that making smart choices now may help prevent me from having gestational diabetes, or if I do get it the transition will not be as difficult to make.

So you may be asking yourself, what is this eating plan I am complaining about?  Well it is just focusing on whole grains, vegetables, fruits, dairy, low fat dairy, and lean protein.  Not too complicated, right?  Technically that is correct.  I think I just was very spoiled with Weight Watchers because if I wanted to splurge all I had to do was account for the points.  Since splurging is not built into this program I felt like I have no wiggle room and then plan is too stiff.  The truth is, this is how I was eating before.  The splurges were not that often, and they can still happen.  I just need to eat balanced and portion control.

So call it hormones run a muck, or just being tired at the end of a long week, but I think I have found my peace with food.  I am going to make a shopping list, and enjoy good healthy food.  I will also smile because I have a person growing inside of me which makes all of this worth while.  I will be able to go back to the things that were more comfortable soon enough.  Besides this summer I am sure I will be glad that I haven't put on any more weight than necessary.  I am already having moments of being extremely warm and it is April!

Coming soon!

I can't believe it has been 9 weeks since we found out that we would be having a baby.  I had been incredibly emotional and my patience was unidentifiable.  Beau was sure I was losing my mind, and so was I. I can't remember if I suggested it, or if Beau did, but we decided to buy a pregnancy test.  This is always an emotional and typically upsetting purchase.  I hadn't bought one since I had started trying to lose weight.  I wasn't trying to get pregnant, and I figured that it would be a couple years still before anything like that could happen.  I bought the test on a Thursday, and I figured I was wrong, so I didn't bother to take it until Sunday.  I cannot count how many times we have gone through this process. You get your hopes up, you buy the test, you pee on a stick, and then you get depressed.  I just about passed out when the test read "Pregnant."  I took the stick to the bedroom and showed Beau and he just got so excited.  We were in a state of shock.  The happiest shock we had ever felt.

My first appointment the doctor ordered an ultrasound to figure out how far along I was, and we discovered that I wasn't very far at all.  It took 2 more ultrasounds before they could be sure that I was due around October 24.

It all still seems like a dream.  Well not so much the being tired all the time, or feeling nauseated, but talking about baby names and strollers is the most awesome conversation Beau and I have had in a while!  I teared up a bit the first time I saw Beau researching car seats and cribs online, and telling me what the reviews said and what he thought would work.

I knew immediately how I wanted to announce our pregnancy, but I wanted to wait until the end of the first trimester.  We made it to week 11. My friend, Tonya, who owns Hat's Etcetera made these adorable slippers for our picture shoot with Emisue Photography.  Here is how we announced to our family and friends (who didn't already know due to our excitement and Beau's big mouth).

  We count our blessings everyday, and are so grateful for all of the love and support we have received.  I am growing a little miracle.  A miracle that I have hope and prayed for over the last six and a half years.   I just cannot believe how much our lives have changed in the last couple of months.  We found out we are expecting, we have moved, and our lives will never be the same again.

Curve Balls and other hard stuff

Lately I have been a complainer.  Which is totally hypocritical because I get annoyed by some of the Facebook posts I see where people complain.  Yesterday Beau came home from work and I told him that I was really frustrated, but I knew he didn't want to hear it.  He was really patient, and asked me to explain.  I whined about ants (AGAIN!!), and the paint job on the house.  How I felt like so many things are going wrong with our current living situation.  Then I was humbled.  Beau told me there is a lot of good things in our house.  For instance, our cost for gas and transportation has significantly dropped.  Our power bill is nothing compared to what it used to be.  We no longer have to pay city water or sewer, or trash.  Beau can come home for lunch which means the days I work from home we see each other, and all around he is able to save money because he doesn't eat out as often.  The shop we have is perfect for him to work on his projects, and the extra bedroom is great to have a permanent place for guests.  He reminded me that although there is much that still needs work, we are in a better place then we were when we lived in Silverton.

Now when I say I get annoyed by some Facebook posts, I really mean only a few.  I think the ones that bother me the most are the ones that complain continually and never try to find the good or positive in their lives curve balls.  You know what life doesn't always turn out the way we hope or expect.  Even if we do everything right the rain will fall and storms will come.  We must find the good in all of life's frustrations and set backs.



Now as ants fall on my head or crawl on my leg I will admit seeing the good is difficult, which is why I try to surround myself with people that help me see it when I cannot.  We are not here on Earth alone.  Each of us have friends, family, pets, etc.  that can warm our hearts and remind us of what matters most.  So you didn't get the job you wanted, or life is not allowing you take the easy road?  What can you do?  What is good.  If you can't find anything you are not looking hard enough, or you are not creating an environment conducive to finding the good.  I know this may sound harsh, but I am yet to find a trial or hardship in my life that was without a silver lining.  That doesn't mean it was enjoyable or easy.  Just that if we forget life is good then I think we are missing the point.